How to Seek Happiness and Share Your Testimony

“And I say unto you, ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Luke 11:9-10)

I owe everything that has happened good in my life to Jesus Christ. I believe that he’s the hand that has guided my misfortune to blessings and my misery to pure happiness.

In my life, I’ve suffered because of other people and I have put myself through hell. Feeling like I was mistreated as a child made me lose any self value. That, in turn, created a pattern of destructive behavior. I was raised in church and I knew right from wrong, but I was acting out. Even at my lowest, God was there guiding my life, because I believed in him.

Through my mistakes, and there were so many mistakes, he eventually lead me back to a place where I could find him. I’m a stubborn person. I think that’s why it took such a major life event to get me to see what I needed.

Because I asked, I found him again, because I knew to seek him, I found happiness, because I knocked, he opened the door. I stepped through that door, from a life of misery, to a life of hope and love.

This is my opinion. This is my story. You may think there’s no way this could happen to you. I certainly thought there was no way I would find myself in the situation I did. But, I know that anyone who asks God for help, for forgiveness, anyone who asks him to be in their lives, will receive the same blessing: happiness and inspiration.

The only way that I can really convey how strongly I feel about God’s work in my life is to share my testimony. It is very hard for me to admit to the world what I’ve been through in my life. It’s a very personal thing that I have only shared with my husband, until now. I hope that sharing this with you will help everyone to see how far you can make it with God at your side. I hope to also show how important sharing your testimony can be to others.

At my lowest, I was living 130 miles from my home town. I drank, used drugs, partied almost every night, and did just whatever I wanted. I was young, wild, and free. At the time, I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

Unfortunately, drinking turned into being a drunk. Using drugs got me into some bad situations. Eventually, the partying and doing whatever I wanted landed me where I never wanted to be.

After a string of bad luck, even in my blindest moment, I could see that God wanted me to go home. I was so broke, I had to ride the “free bus” back to my house (in the city). I remember crying the whole ride, then calling my parents and telling them I was ready to come home.

My parents have always done their best to take care of me. Even though my childhood wasn’t the best, I don’t blame my parents. Moments like this are why. Two days after I called them, my dad came and helped me get everything I needed to in order before driving me back to my hometown.

I didn’t move back in with my parents, like I should have. Even though I was home, I still had the same mindset as before. I moved in with an old friend who agreed to let me stay for free. Then, I got a job at the first place that would hire me and continued my partying ways. At least, for a couple weeks.

My friend and I both worked night shift at the time. We got off one morning and started drinking, totally normal for us. I passed out by 10am, not normal, and slept all day. I had to be at work that night at 10, but when I woke up to get ready, I was deathly ill. Thankfully, someone volunteered to work for me. I went back home and slept all night.

The next day I knew what I had to do. I went to the DG and bought a test, went home, and before I even took it, I knew. It all hit me like a ton of bricks. I was pregnant.

That was the moment I realized the weight of my mistakes, but I wasn’t ready to face them. I wanted to make it all go away. I didn’t want to admit what I had done and I certainly didn’t want anyone else to know.

The only way to do that was the unthinkable. The despicable thing that I had always opposed. Except, at the time, I felt like my life was over. So what is another mark on my soul if I have ruined my life either way?

I  made a necessary appointment for an ultrasound and showed up not knowing what to expect. I was terrified, I thought I was at the “clinic”. The receptionist didn’t say much. I got into the room and they pulled up the ultrasound. On the screen was a little bubble, not much to see. They told me I definitely was pregnant and then, they changed my life. They pointed to a tiny, little, pulsating spot in the middle of that little bubble and they said that is the heartbeat.

I died a little inside, but at that very moment, I also started to live. For the first time, in my hollow unfulfilled life, I felt  the love of a mother. I think I knew all along that I wouldn’t be able to go through with something I had always considered so terrible, but just knowing that I was thinking about it broke my heart.

Luckily, I wasn’t at the “clinic”. The woman who did my ultrasound took me into another room with all sorts of  pamphlets. She let me read over them, then she asked if she could pray with me. This freaked me out because I was in a super emotional state. I’m not the type of person to cry in front of others, so I told her no. I did ask that she pray for me when I left. Then they let me go, not knowing what effect they had on me.

Like I said, I realized as soon as I saw that tiny heart beating that I was a mom, and shortly thereafter I realized what that really meant. I moved back in with my parents, cut ties to the old friends, and after putting it off for far too long, started going to church again. I was only there a few weeks before I found myself at the alter, asking God to forgive me for everything I had done.

After I asked God to come back to my heart, I was a changed person, because I believed. I seeked to find God and I did. It was like a weight had been lifted. There was no doubt I had found him, because that’s when my life began to change.

I went from being a selfish, hateful, miserable person, to someone who’s heart was full of love and happiness. I still had to face the consequences of my actions, but those same “mistakes” I made became the joy in my heart. They were the main reason for me to strive to better myself every day.

Five years later, I am a happier person than I have ever been. I have a happy four year old son who has always been the light of my life. I have a wonderful husband, who I would not have fallen in love with, or been worthy of his love, if I didn’t have my son. We completed our little family with a daughter who is three and another son who is four weeks now.

I still ask, I still seek, I still knock, and God is continually opening doors for me and my family. It is amazing to serve such a loving and forgiving God. No matter how far you run away, he will be there waiting for you.

I still have trouble dealing with the fact that I thought about these things. It brings me to tears just thinking about where I would be without this wonderful loving child in my life. It’s even worse to think that I could have taken away every opportunity for him to love, play, find out what his talents are, or just be himself. I will never forget that feeling, but I know that because of God, my heart is healed.

I ask you today, if you are struggling with anything in your life, ask God to help you. Give in to your reservations and soften your heart. Let him in. If you are skeptical, that means a part of you believes. Give in and seek him. He will guide your life, just like he did mine, to a place where you never thought you could go.

My heart has become so full of love that I can’t hold it in. My cup overflows. I’m telling you all this so you know where I’m coming from. With God all things are possible. If you have a need, he will bless you. If you’re hurt, he will heal the pain. Why wait any longer? The path to true happiness and positivety is right in front of you, and it starts right here.

“And I say unto you, ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Luke 11:9-10)

6 thoughts on “How to Seek Happiness and Share Your Testimony”

    1. Thank you! It was the most difficult thing to post! But, I want people to know that they are worthy of love, no matter what they’ve been through!

    1. Thank you Angela! I think a lot of women may be able to relate to my story. I hope sharing it helps people deal with the guilt and shame that comes along with sin. I want them to see that God will take all that away because he IS good!

        1. Wow! Thank you so much Angela. I was just nominated for the Liebster Blog Award this week too! That’s so sweet. I’ll have to take some time to think about those questions. I’ll let you know when I do! Thank you again.

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